My Sunshiny Life











{July 20, 2009}   Crimes Against Fashion

Need I say more? A trim, fit man in his prime doesnt look good in them so why do middle aged overweight men persist in inflicting their bodies on us in all their glory.  It makes my eyes hurt.

Speedos should be illegal

Speedos should be illegal

This isnt as much of a crime, more like an infraction and my personal pet hate.  Wear a racer back bra girlies if youre going to wear a racer back top.  It just looks better! 

Racer Back Fashion Infraction

Racer Back Fashion Infraction



{July 16, 2009}   Mauled by a Medusa

Today started out like any other day in paradise, who knew it would morph into a scene from Jaws.  I was happily paddling around in my new Reefs (crime against fashion exhibit two, but necessary because of the rocks on the beach) and my noodle, trying to balance myself as my rubber reefs kept popping back up to the surface taking me off balance. 

Crimes Against Fashion (exhibit two)

Crimes Against Fashion (exhibit two)

Then it happened.  Out of nowhere there was a searing pain in my arm quickly followed by another sting and then pain in my other arm.  OH MY GOD!  I was either being targeted by killer bees or surrounded by giant jellyfish that were determined to sting me to death.  I screamed like youve never heard someone scream before, flung my noodle and swam towards shore, still screaming.  People thought I was being attacked by a shark and the beach cleared in about 30 seconds.  I got to shore and stood on the beach uncertain as to what to do now.  Sympathy, thats what I needed, lots of sympathy… and maybe a bit of pee.  Thats meant to fix it isnt it?  Chad and Matt were all out of pee and no one else offered.  So I stood there, bottom lip jutting out trying not to cry.  Three massive welts came up over my arms. 

Jellyfish Stinging Welts

Jellyfish Stinging Welts

Lisa came over with my rescued noodle and took me to the cold water shower which helped relieve the sting a little bit.  I showed a few interested (and some not so interested) lounger neighbors my welts and sat back in my lounger worrying about delayed analphalactic shock.  Chad offered to run to the pharmacy if my throat started closing up.  If Id had my iPhone I would have googled the symptoms, but all I had was my imagination, so I sat there running little self checks on whether it hurt to swallow or not.

The little kids wouldnt go back in the water, even with their father in there trying to reassure them that the coast was clear.  Matt joined the “come on in, the waters fine” brigade and went into the water too.  He went over to them and told them I was crazy and hadnt been stung at all.  You would have thought hed told the funniest story in the world the way that was received and he had an instant fan club. 

The "come back in the water" committee

The "come back in the water" committee

Much to Matts delight and the appreciation of the woman standing at the waters edge, the father said he looked like Bruce Willis.  They were instant best friends, bonding over a discussion of life, politics and the ways of the world (all in Italian, go Matt!), all while his daughters steadfastly refused to get in the water. 

Bruce Willis?

Bruce Willis?

Bruce Willis

Bruce Willis

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The little one finally relented and started making her way to her dad when the cry went up from the beach “MEDUSA”    Yep, it was right there, a little pinky jellyfish.  They scooped it out and we examined it.  Who could have thought that something so little could cause so much pain!

Jellyfish of Death

Jellyfish of Death



et cetera