My Sunshiny Life











{April 19, 2010}   Things NOT to do on a date

Lessons for the man who I went on a date with recently.  Read and learn my friend.

DO NOT:

Eat with your mouth open and then say that you’d spoken to your mother before the date and she’d reminded you to eat with your mouth closed.  You should have listened to your mother.

DO NOT

Say that you’d need an umbrella to sit opposite you at the dinner table at home, because right now you’re being polite.  When you’re at home you just go for it and shovel food in.  See previous note about listening to your mother.

DO NOT

Eat the whole endamame bean.  The skin is not meant to be eaten, but don’t worry you spat most of it out on the table as you were talking.

DO NOT

Discuss money.  I do not want to know how much you won in your recent poker game, how you sell comics on ebay to raise cash OR how much money you make as an extra on a film set.

DO NOT

Mention fart jokes.  Farts don’t exist on first dates.  In the world of first, second and third dates we like to think that neither of us ever have to do number 2’s, fart or burp.  It’s not sexy and this is the build up to sexy, work the illusion buddy!

DO NOT

Talk about your business failures.  It does not make you look like an attractive long term prospect.

DO NOT

Confide that you lost your sex drive for four years, but not to worry as you’ve got it back now. 

DO NOT

Tell me that you’ve been thinking about the date a lot and haven’t been able to concentrate on anything else.  Play it cool, be a little mysterious (I’m taking the mysterious point on for myself from now on too – ‘make like an onion’ is my new mantra – not that I’d ever be so uncool as to gush that I’d been thinking about them non-stop I’d like to add!)

DO NOT

Suggest that we don’t pay the tip as the food service was slow.  First dates are the only time you cannot mention bad service or complain about it.  You will look demanding and arrogant, or even worse cheap.  Save that for the fourth date.

The chance with me has passed, but if you take these words of advice on board maybe you’ll fare better on the next date.

Advertisements


{April 13, 2010}   Romance on the Radar

As part of my writing course you need to be quite honest with yourself about your life, feelings and emotions.  I did an exercise to assess how well balanced my life was, and the romance area was found wanting.

So being a resourceful 2010 kind of girl I looked to My Single Friend for some assistance in finding my Mr Perfect (not too much to ask surely!).  The first day has left me totally underwhelmed.  I’ve favourited a few guys (out of 60 odd pages I think I got 5 favourites!) and have had a few pages of guys favourite me, not one of them that I fancy. 

Then I got this email…

Right, well where to begin? firstly, I have to say your profile is so awesome!!! and i really mean that. Secondly, I had sent you an email and saved you on my fav list today, then when I went to check in, you had disappeared!
I couldn’t work it out, and its taken me ages to try and find you again on here. So I’m not sure if it was me pressing something, or the site? annnnnnnwaaaaaay now I have to remember everything I wrote before.

Ummmm, umm, how shall I put this? well what a cool profile intro from your friend Mrs J, it was so simple and too the point, I kinda liked that. Plus your picture had this nice warm smile, I think you can tell allot from a smile, and the eyes too, the eyes never lie…. I guess what i’m trying to say is that you seem to have this nice energy about you that makes you seem…. well, ‘alive’

I think i’m not going to ask the standard questions that all guys ask, its so contrived, so Im going to change that right now me thinks. Let me see now, ummmm, ok Little Miss Sunshine,

1. Do you like climbing trees?
2. What’s your fav quote?
3. What did you do yesterday?
4. Country girl, or city?
5. Hug or cuddle?
6. Open fire or central heating? (that’s so obvious lolololo)
7. Would you want to leave this planet with an alien to explore the galaxy?
8. Risk your life for a stranger? (hmmm tough one)
9. Quick, don’t think about it too much but what’s the first thing that makes you smile?
I bet your thinking ‘why 9 questions’? its my fav number that’s all.

Anyway I just wanted to say howdy really and keep this a brief email (although it seems its not that brief now is it? lol) …oh god I cant believe im actually doing this! yes yes yes I know, your thinking who’s this loon, so embarrassment over, think I’m going to shut up now.lol

Either way it would be really nice to hear from you when you have the chance, if not, not to worry. It really was a pleasure reading your profile Little Miss Sunshine. You take care, and stay safe out there too.
Take it easy
Clueless

*Names changed to save embarrassment.

Honestly universe, if you sent me that as a laugh you succeeded.  If that is the start of would be suitors that you’ve got lined up for me, I sincerely hope you’re just warming up before the main act!

 Update: It seems that most of my friends thought this was quriky and cute.  Perhaps the photo was required for full effect, although the sprinkling of lol’s would be enough to turn me off without the photo to be honest!



et cetera