Feelings of discontent and desire were awoken yesterday, after my visit to Shoreditch House, a private members club in Shoreditch. It’s part of the chain that includes The Electric House and Soho House.
I want a membership and I want it now! My life just isn’t complete without one! They only accept one in four applications, so I’m trying to think up something exciting that I can write on my form, adding some spice to my life. What could I be? A secret agent, a hand model, maybe a best selling erotic fiction writer? I’ll keep thinking and will report back on my progress.
What’s all the fuss then? Well you’re not allowed to take photos there so I don’t have many to show you, but I managed to snap off a few before I was told off (and then one later on when no one was looking, although a staff member headed over straight away to find where the flash had come from). There is a reason for this, celebs come here sometimes and need to know that crass and uncouth people like moi won’t pap their asses. Eva Longoria was in Soho House last week apparently.
Members are carefully vetted, so the calibre of the clientele is cool and classy. No riff raff in this establishment!
We sat on the roof terrace around the pool, and my group sipped on lychee martinis and chilled glasses of wine. I stuck with water champagne, and then to my delight, I discovered healthy smoothies on the menu. Soon I was happily drinking a bright green spirulina smoothie (much to everyone else’s disgust). Later on I had a bilberry and spinach smoothie, which was also delicious.
When the night started closing in and the warmth from our patio heaters were no longer doing the trick, we found a cosy spot on the 4th floor to continue our evening. Comfy couches, yummy food, a pool table, foosball tables and plenty of people watching – what more could you want?
A membership. That’s what I want.